The Pain of Another: Reclaiming Your Emotional Sovereignty
- Dorry Aben
- May 30
- 5 min read
There comes a point in your journey where something shifts. A quiet realization arises—not out of resistance, but from clarity. You begin to understand that not every emotion, every wound, or every harsh word directed your way belongs to you.
Much of the pain we carry doesn’t even originate within us. We inherit it, absorb it, internalize it—often unconsciously—from the people around us. But the truth is: you don’t have to keep carrying it.
Let me begin with these simple lines:
No longer let the pain of anotherEnter you and bother
We are not here to be vessels for other people’s unresolved emotions. We are not containers for projections, nor are we meant to be battlegrounds for someone else's inner war. Still, many of us—empaths, sensitives, peacemakers—took that on. We let the outside world seep into our nervous systems until we no longer knew what was ours and what was theirs.
This blog is a reminder. A reclamation. A loving nudge back to center.
Projection Is Not Your Responsibility
Don't allow people to projectRejectYou are worthy and deserving of respect
Let’s pause here. This isn’t about becoming hard or guarded—it’s about becoming clear.
There’s a misconception in spiritual and self-help circles that being “love” means being endlessly available, endlessly understanding, endlessly forgiving. But true love, the kind that is rooted in the soul, doesn’t abandon itself to make others comfortable.
You can be kind and still say no. You can be loving and still set a boundary. You can be light and still walk away from darkness that tries to dim you.
It’s not your job to transmute everyone else’s pain. You’re not here to be the emotional landfill for the wounded behavior of others. When someone projects their pain, their shame, or their unprocessed anger onto you, that’s a reflection of where they are—not who you are.
So yes, reject the projections. Yes, insist on respect. Yes, walk away from what dishonors your heart.
Being Love Isn’t Being Passive
Being love doesn't mean letting people brush youFlush youDownright crush you
This line might sound strong—but it needs to be.
There’s a sacred fierceness in love, one that protects, preserves, and speaks truth. Love doesn’t cower. Love doesn’t allow repeated harm. Love, real love, honors the soul—and the soul cannot thrive in environments where it's consistently devalued.
If someone brushes off your needs, flushes your feelings, or crushes your spirit—this is not love. And if you’ve been enduring this under the belief that “being spiritual” means you have to tolerate everything, let me lovingly say: you’ve been misled.
To be love is to embody truth.To be love is to act in alignment with worth.To be love is to refuse to shrink for someone else’s comfort.
You’ve Allowed More Than You Realize
Hear meIt's trueAll the things people do, have been allowed by you
This can be a hard pill to swallow—but it’s also the most liberating.
No, this doesn’t mean it was your fault.Yes, boundaries can be unclear when we’re conditioned to over-give.But at some point, we have to acknowledge the ways in which we have allowed what doesn’t serve us to continue.
Sometimes we stay silent because we’re afraid.Sometimes we tolerate mistreatment because we’re afraid to be alone.Sometimes we accept crumbs because we’ve forgotten we deserve the feast.
This line is an invitation—not to blame yourself—but to reclaim your power. If you allowed it in, you can also choose something else now.
You can draw a new boundary.You can speak a new truth.You can say: No more.
Let Go of What Was Never Yours
You falsely took on people's judgements and hateDon't stay stuck thereIt's not your fateLet it all dissipateLiberate
We’ve all done it—mistaken someone else’s pain as proof that we are unworthy. When someone criticizes, abandons, or disrespects us, it can leave a mark on our hearts. But over time, those marks begin to shape our sense of self if we’re not careful.
You are not what they couldn’t see.You are not what they couldn’t hold.You are not their judgment. You are not their hate.
You were never meant to live your life under the weight of someone else's limitations.
Now is the time to lay it down.Let it dissipate.Liberate yourself from the illusion that you are broken or flawed or unworthy.
You were simply absorbing the pain of others—and now, you get to release it.
You Are Worthy. Now and Always.
You are worthySo please have the courage to allow life to be great
Yes, life gets to be great.
Yes, you are worthy of relationships that feel safe and nourishing.Yes, you are worthy of a peaceful nervous system.Yes, you are worthy of being spoken to with love, respect, and presence.
But here's the thing: life rises to meet the standard we set for it. If we continue to tolerate disrespect, the universe reflects that back. When we raise our awareness, raise our standards, raise our self-regard—life has no choice but to align.
The first step? Courage.
Courage to leave the situations that hurt.Courage to speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.Courage to say: “I choose to live in peace now.”
Your soul didn’t come here to suffer endlessly. Your soul came to experience beauty, depth, intimacy, and joy. Not in a way that bypasses the human pain—but in a way that alchemizes it into wisdom.
Let yourself have the good.Let yourself be deeply met.Let yourself receive.
In Closing: Choose You
You don’t have to keep carrying the pain of another.You don’t have to keep playing a role in their story.You don’t have to keep betraying yourself to be loved.
Because here’s the truth: love begins with how you treat yourself.
So say no to what drains you.Say yes to what uplifts you.Walk away from what collapses your light.
And always remember: you are worthy—not someday, not once you’ve healed enough—but right now.
I feel deeply passionate about people living lives that reflect the love they truly are—and the beauty they’re absolutely worthy of. If you’re struggling with self-worth, finding your place in the world as a sensitive soul, or if it’s hard for you to set boundaries, put yourself first, or shake off the weight of the world around you… please know: you’re not alone—and you don’t have to do it alone.
Join me in my daily Soul Streams, a sacred space where you’ll be gently reminded of your inner strength, your truth, and your right to live with joy, clarity, and deep connection. These gatherings are completely free—because this way of living is your birthright, and love asks for nothing in return.
So rise.Reclaim.And let life become as beautiful as it was always meant to be.
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