Stop Looking for Evidence of Lack: Life Is Unfolding in Wholeness
- Dorry Aben
- May 31
- 4 min read
We live in a world obsessed with proof—proof that we’re successful, lovable, valid, worthy. Every day, we’re trained to look for evidence that our lives match an invisible checklist. If we don’t have the relationship, the career, the wealth, the body, or the recognition, then we quietly assume we’re somehow behind, broken, or lacking.
But here’s a radical idea: what if nothing is missing?
What if the perception of lack is a conditioned illusion—and beyond that illusion, life is always unfolding with perfect intelligence?
What if you stopped looking for evidence that you are behind—and began seeing the quiet truth that you are exactly where you're meant to be?
Life Is Simply Unfolding
In my perception, life is not a competition, a checklist, or a comparison game. Life is an unfolding. A set of experiences we’re invited to move through with awareness, not judgment.
For some, that unfolding includes a partner, children, and a bustling family. For others, it means solitude, freedom, or a more internal journey. Some paths include financial wealth and material comfort. Others unfold with simplicity, minimalism, or even hardship.
Some journeys will be filled with vibrant health, while others may involve illness, and deep surrender.
And none of these are indicators of success or failure. They are simply part of the design of your path.
Yet so often, we get caught in comparison. We focus on what we don’t have, what we should have by now, what we used to have and lost.
We use the external to determine our internal sense of value.
But what if life doesn’t owe you a partner, money, health, fame, or ease?
And more importantly—what if the presence or absence of those things says nothing about your worth?
The Trap of Conditioned Success
From a young age, we are taught to view life through a specific lens: success means achievement, status, validation. Love means romance. Abundance means wealth. Happiness means perfection.
But these are not universal truths—they are cultural conditions. We were programmed to believe them.
So when our lives don’t look like the idealized images we’ve absorbed, we default to “lack.” We feel something must be missing.
But what if that feeling isn’t truth—it’s just conditioning?
Because the truth is: Success isn’t what you have. It’s how you feel as you move through life.
And love? It’s not limited to a romantic partner. It’s the deep, sacred intimacy you develop with your own essence.
Abundance? It’s not about how much you own—but how much you see in what you already have. It’s the feeling of fullness that arises when you recognize the sacred in the everyday.
You Experience What You Perceive
Here’s the deeper truth: you don’t experience life itself in its full neutrality.You experience your perception of it.
And perception is often filtered through layers of judgment, belief, comparison, fear, and limitation.
In that sense, we don’t just live out life—we live out our interpretation of it.
So if your perception is filled with stories of lack, scarcity, not-enoughness—you’ll find evidence of those things in everything. Even in beauty, your mind will seek out flaws. Even in peace, your nervous system may stay on edge.
But what if your perception shifted?
What if your lens was no longer shaped by wounds and programming, but by truth and inner alignment?
What if your perception was in relationship with the infinite intelligence that moves through all things?
Living Through the Lens of Your Inner Essence
Your inner essence—the deepest part of you untouched by fear or programming—sees differently. It does not perceive through lack. It sees everything as part of the unfolding.
Through this lens:
Illness becomes a doorway to presence.
Emptiness becomes fertile ground for creativity.
Solitude becomes a sacred space for self-connection.
Simplicity becomes clarity.
Grief becomes the birthplace of gratitude.
When you view life through the eyes of your inner self, you stop asking “what’s missing?” and start asking “what’s here?”
You stop resisting what is and start witnessing the richness within it.
You realize that abundance, wholeness, love, and radiance are not external achievements—they are inner truths, always available to be tapped into.
What If You Stopped Searching for Lack?
Pause and consider this:
What if you stopped looking for evidence that you’re not enough?What if you stopped measuring your life by external benchmarks?
What if you allowed yourself to feel whole even in the middle of physical illness?To feel abundant even without much money in the bank?To feel deeply loved, even without someone whispering “I love you” beside you?
Can you imagine the freedom in that?
Because here’s the truth: lack is not in your life. It’s in your lens.And the lens can change.
It can become more truthful. More loving. More free.
You Are Not Behind. You Are Not Lacking.
The path you’re on? It’s yours for a reason.
The experiences you’ve had? They’ve shaped you in ways the world may never see.
You are not late to your life. You are not failing. You are not missing anything.
You are living a unique expression of consciousness—one that isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s.
When you stop measuring yourself by what you don’t have, and start tuning into what you do have—the clarity, the lessons, the presence—you begin to experience a deeper kind of wealth.
You begin to walk with peace.
Final Thoughts: The Invitation Back to Wholeness
Life, in its truest form, isn’t about collecting things or proving worth. It’s about waking up to the ever-present truth that you are already whole.
That there is a sacred intelligence unfolding through every phase of your journey.
That what you think is missing may just be misunderstood.
So stop at all the things you seem to lack.Stop judging your life through someone else’s measure.Start seeing it with new eyes—the eyes of your essence.
The eyes that see abundance in breath, love in solitude, and purpose in every moment.
You don’t need more to be more.
You just need to remember who you are beneath the lens of lack.
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